dickyblog
13 08 2007Mon, 13 Aug 2007
Things my daddy taught me:
Good:
- How to use a camera, develop film, and make contact prints. (f-stops, depth of field, film speed, all that stuff.)
- How to write down every goddam thing I spent my allowance on. (Make a balance sheet.)
- How to fish with worms, and catch conjugated surface-paddling crabs with nets.
- Buy stuff when it is cheap, not waiting to need it.
- How to accelerate into curves, and flatten them.
- Balls rolling into the street are frequently followed by children.
- Squeeze toothpaste from the bottom and replace the cap.
- Don't let toenails get too long.
Not so good:
- How to make torpedoes (mix potassium chlorate and sulphur and wrap it up in tinfoil). Good for trolley tracks.
- How to cast toy soldiers out of hot lead.
- How to clean mercury by pouring through a pin hole at the apex of a folded sheet of filter paper.
(Possibly the lead and mercury of his childhood explain why Dicky grew up dull.) (Oh, well, he does still have all of his fingers.)
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